Relationships

How do you know when to end or begin a relationship?

I have had the unfortunate pattern of liking someone, seeing them for awhile and then after a little over a month or so just getting so annoyed and hostile towards them. Like I feel that they’re invading my life an personal space. I’m not sure if it’s just because I am so busy all of the time and I really appreciate my alone time or what it is.

Anyway, whenever I first started talking to the boy who I am now, I really liked him and thought he was hilarious, he could carry a conversation on and never skip a beat. But lately I just am so annoyed by him, even his presence, when he tries to just kiss me on the cheek. Just ugh, a voice in my head “don’t touch me”. 

We were only talking for about a month and decided to date. I think I just need to take more time getting to know someone, which in friendships I usually wait a long time before I decide if I really like someone.

At work we talk about things like this all the time, especially in the service industry there has to be a lot of trust because you are constantly surrounded by outgoing personalities and flirts. Even my tables will ask me for my number or compliment me, offer to buy me drinks, etc. 

Is it the truth that no one will ever be in a completely monogamous relationship, or do you just have to find the one person you think is worth putting up with their flaws and indiscretions?

I can’t decide but I know it makes me very sad to think that there is no longer a love that exists so strong to be able to battle the temptations. It also makes me sad to think you might just have to settle and deal with whoever you decide has enough potential to put up with their crap. 

So since I am already asking the question of how to do decide to start or end a relationship, I think that mine will probably be ending. I really just don’t have time for it and obviously if I don’t think the person is worth the extra effort to make time than it’s not really important to me at all.

I just don’t want to feel guilty by being the person to break it off, especially with how the last one ended, a lot of bitterness towards me. I do not think that it is healthy to fake being happy in a relationship and act like nothing is wrong just in order to be in a relationship and make someone else happy. I’ve spent too much of my time trying to make other people happy and I decided that these next few years would be spent being selfish and making myself happy. Body, mind and soul.

Unfortunately I agree with the statement that you have to be happy and comfortable with yourself in order to ever truly be happy with anyone else and I know that I need some personal work before I am completely satisfied with how I am. It’s not even changing my body or anything that way. I just feel like a wandering soul who holds myself back. Many times before in my life I have been told that I was meant for greatness and great things, however I hold myself back from my full potential because I am scared of wrong choices? I’m not quite sure but I would like to start the journey of finding peace within myself. Mainly why I love to do things outside such as hiking, swimming, biking is because I feel peace when I am out in nature. You feel so small compared to a cliff or a river, or even the huge trees in the forest. We spend too much time these days in the city, with shoes on, on concrete. We lost touch with nature and the naturalness and simplicity of the old ways for things that make our days easier, our time go by faster….. this isn’t happiness, this is society putting a cover over our eyes, making it normalcy, and hoping we do not notice.

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