When People Expect Gifts From You

I have not been working the last 6 weeks. I quit my job because I hated it, I had enough money saved up and I was 6 months pregnant. I’m being a stay at home mom for at least the first year of my babies life, going back to school in the spring to finish my degree which should only take 3 semesters tops and then be on my way. My SO is supporting me through this time because he makes enough money to do so.

I was just talking on the phone with my aunt the other day and this is seriously one of my biggest pet peeves: when people expect you to get them gifts!!! She was already talking about what she wanted me to get her for Christmas.

An expensive ass bathroom set from Bed Bath & Beyond. Her husband would not let her buy them for their bathroom because he said it was a waste of money/too expensive to put in the bathroom. It’s literally S150 bath ensemble. I got the exact same one, buying piece by piece every paycheck and using the 20% off coupons I got through the store. But I was just kind of shocked that she seriously expected me to buy her a $150 bath ensemble for Christmas whenever she knows I have not been working, I don’t have any extra money, we’re going to have a newborn baby during this time and my boyfriend is footing the bill for all of our expenses – food, housing, utilities, gas, anything extra we might want to do.

I understand that she might feel entitled to it since she did buy the upcoming baby some expensive gifts such as a new swing and bed set. But at the same time, these are gifts! & she knows that I am not making any income nor will I be.

Her response to me not having any money: “well by that time you might have some money, you never know”.

If I had some money I’m not going to spend S150 of it on a Christmas gift for you. Even in the past my MAX amount of money I will spend on a gift is $50, just a rule I have.

I’ve bought the majority of my newborns things from yard sales; including ALL of her clothes, a jumper, carseat, bouncer. My mom is supposed to be getting me a crib for free from a coworker and everything else I’ve gotten I’ve used coupons or bought used.
So my frugality is really just shocked at this point. She knows that I don’t have any income coming in and won’t for the next year but miraculously I might have money by then….or expects my SO to get her this gift for Christmas whenever he’s supporting a family of 3 and we’re remodeling our house little by little….. I still am just BEYOND SHOCKED at this.

Each year it’s always the same with Christmas too: what did you get so and so? Aren’t you buying them anything they got something for you?…etc. etc.

Yes I do feel bad whenever someone buys me a gift and I didn’t plan on giving them anything in return because I did not expect a gift. One year I had 15 people to buy from whenever I was in school full time working a part time job. My main point of this is that: gifts should not be expected. People don’t always have the money for them and just because she buys gifts for roughly 5-6 people each year means she can get them nicer stuff; FINE. But don’t expect that everyone can spend that kind of money in return. With my boyfriend’s and my family combined we’re already expecting to buy gifts for 15+ people.
The capitalism of this world is really just baffling me. No one even celebrates the real reason for Christmas, Easter, etc. it’s just a gimme gimme gimme mentality that I disagree with completely. My SO and I have even gotten into an argument about it because I said that children who don’t believe in God or Jesus should not celebrate Christmas or Easter since they don’t believe in what those holidays are actually supposed to be about. He couldn’t believe that I thought children shouldn’t get presents because they don’t believe in God or Jesus……

That is just my personal opinion. Everything in this society has become focused on materialistic items, gifts and presents with no respect for earning things. I’m glad to say we don’t have cable and I’m glad that my kids are not going to grow up glued to the box and see all of the commercials for all the things that they are not going to have. We do not need nearly as much stuff as we think we do- we just want it and get brainwashed into thinking we have to have it.

Same thing with the swing and bouncer. I didn’t want both- mainly because I think it’s excessive. As soon as I figure out which one my baby prefers over the other I’m getting rid of the one that isn’t used. Just so much excessive things for the “convenience” factor. Welp, we can’t have anything baby or decor related laying around downstairs because our dogs eat it. You name it, they chew it, destroy it. Baskets, candles, coasters, cardboard boxes, shoes, yoga mats, play station controllers, hats, towels, blankets.

NONE of this can be downstairs AT ALL while the dogs are unsupervised so I really just don’t have the need for all of this junk because it will get ruined anyway. I’m kind of grateful (I will NEVER admit this to my SO) because it makes sure that I clean and put away EVERYTHING downstairs. A lot of people can’t understand why we still have these dogs either which is another BAFFLEMENT to me…. you get animals to keep as pets, you are expected to take care of these animals for their whole lives… you don’t just get rid of them because they won’t behave, they chew stuff up, etc. because they are an inconvenience to you. You have to change your habits and routines to make sure that they do behave themselves and be around enough to recognize patterns. We realized that one of our dogs only chews between the time my boyfriend leaves for work at 6 am and whenever I get up in the morning around 8-9 am…so now we kennel him during that time because otherwise we know he will find something to chew up. & guess what….no chewing since we recognized his routine!

Honestly, I am just distraught at what society is becoming. It’s a very sad world we are starting to live in now.

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