Random Catch up

So I’ve been doing homework for a few hours. Earlier today me and my significant other spent hours deep cleaning the house. As in, I washed and detailed ALL of the woodwork, windows, dusted, swept, mopped, cleaned the banisters, door frames, washed the doors, some of the walls while he sanded the spackle and washed the walls in the living room. As I decide to take a break what I do is: check my email. Then, I have nothing else to do. I don’t even know where to browse around or anything at the moment. It’s one of the first times in my life where I just sat here and was absolutely blank about what I wanted to do or rather look at than my homework. WEIRD. I’m still technically procrastinating because I’m doing all of the small posts/quizzes while I have about 500 pages to read, 3 papers to write and a list of things to compare and contrast all due Sunday at midnight for one class. :/ But I’m hoping to get through the reading tomorrow night and Saturday night since I work those mornings and hopefully start on the papers Saturday night, leaving Sunday night to finish and post them. Hopefully not too much wishful thinking otherwise I am going to be up all night.

Anyway UPDATE:

I moved in with my boyfriend maybe like a month ago. We found out we’re having a baby so I pretty much just stay here all of the time. He owns his own house and I rent a townhouse with two other girls. He works alot so like this weekend, he’s working overtime every night, I’ll see him for around 3 hours and that’s it.

While at his house we still need to get all of the wallpaper and backing down, sand & wash the walls, paint. Then we are installing hardwood floors in about half the house. Our goal date to finish all of this is Easter weekend, so about the first week of April. The upstairs bedroom only have wallpaper bordering so those won’t be bad. After that’s done, we’re getting new carpet. & that’s about as far as we thought other than starting on the baby’s room. I’m currently 14 weeks right now.

Still lifting every once in awhile but it’s gotten really hard and almost too much for me, I’m really short of breath and my heart beat gets WAY too high even with lowering the weight, lowering the reps and taking long breaks in between sets. Cardio kills me so I’m trying to find a place close by that offers yoga. Any suggestions from mothers on even a person to follow on youtube for help? I have a yoga mat and a large tv with a roku as well as a place to do it if I could find a good person?

So pretty much the delay in all of my blogging has been because of some BIG changes in my life and not too much time to think about anything else. So tonight while I was at a loss of what to do to take a break, I decided to update my blog. Maybe I should just make this into my mommy blog for the time being. Since this is an anonymous blog about my life. LOL

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Just breath…..

I’ve been feeling pretty stressed out lately, I’m dropping my physics class because starting out a week behind just really did not help me at all and I’m still basically failing, our first test is this Thursday and I’m flying out to California Wednesday, there are no make up exams, so that’s a definite 0, leading to an F in the course. Sooo that’s a no go for me. I guess I’ll just stay in Calc 2 and my other math class and have a light semester. I really need to pass calc 2 this time around and my other math class is pretty intense as well so hopefully I’ll have more motivation in those two. However, my first out of 4 calc 2 tests was horrible as well. I stayed up until 4 am studying and overslept, arriving to class 20 minutes late so I wasn’t able to complete it. :/ I am very irresponsible sometimes. I still haven’t settled into a set routine and I think that’s what my problem is. Anyway, I have beyond to look forward to this coming weekend and seeing some of my good friends.

I’m also stressed because it was a slow weekend so I didn’t make as much money as I nearly did so I’m going to California a pauper. We were laughing on the phone because our whole group going to beyond is broke after paying for everything for this trip, (flight, hotel, rental car, beyond tickets, etc.). Looks like we’re ordering off the $1 menu! Ugh. Anyway, whenever I come back it’s pay day and my financial aid just went through for my classes, so I can pay off the rest of my rent for the year and settle more into classes instead of worrying about money so much. I usually use whatever is left from my school loans to pay my rent for the year so that’s one less thing to hassle with.

Last year I really wanted to transfer schools and go ahead and make the big move to Boston, but then I became severely depressed and scared to move somewhere so far away from everyone I know that I stayed here in podunk IL. Well I’m really going to be rethinking my decisions this semester and going to start making choices for myself and to make myself happy.

I was looking for a new job but I think I may just keep the one that I have and work a day or two more than just Friday & Saturday after I drop this class. I’m almost relieved because I was overwhelmed with the workload for physics. Next semester I will just have to tell myself I’m going to have to work ahead and keep up with everything.

I spread myself too thin sometimes and I’ve also had the added stress that my family stopped making my car payments, so I had the loan agency calling me every single day for two months back owed on my car :'(. I have NOT been having a great past few weeks.

So my goals for the rest of the year are these:

1. Dedicate at least 10 hours a week studying, doing homework, preparing for class outside of class.

2. Saving money so I don’t freak out when crazy circumstances happen. (mainly by not eating out, eating clean, meal prepping, continuing not going out drinking)

3. Establish a routine and stick to it.

4. Workout at least 4 times a week – max 5.

I think these are good goals to start with and are maintainable/doable.

I have a habit of procrastinating and doing homework the day it’s due and not preparing for class beforehand, and I think this would really help me out so I’ve seen the material 3-4 times before studying for a quiz/test.

I’ve also been sick this weekend, not sure if it’s allergies or a cold from the abrupt change in weather but I’ve been sleeping a lot and have had a pounding head ache the past 3 days, also picked up two shifts more than I usually do. & had my first complaint ever from some ratchet ghetto ass black bitches. Working in the serving industry seriously can make you think you’re racist sometimes, more times than most actually.

I just need some more me time until I get crazy into school and freak out. There’s a lot of other things going on, but I can talk about those later.

Just needed to breathe for a minute. Ahhhh

Sleep Deprived

There have only been 3 weeks in the semester so far and I am already sleep deprived, behind, and not doing too well. I think I just don’t manage my time very well and I’m busy besides. I do homework every night, usually the night before it’s due so this weekend I’m going to try to catch up on some sleep (FAT CHANCE since I work this weekend) however I am off Sunday so I plan on catching up on some sleep, possibly taking a nap tomorrow afternoon before I go into work. Right now it’s 12:30, I have been working on physics homework since around 7-7:30, only got a 76% on it because our teacher deducts points for wrong attempts…who in the FUCK does that??? I’ve had numerous homework online and not a single one deducted points for guessing the wrong answer. You usually only get 3 tries, and thenyou just completely get it wrong. BUT COME ON.

Anyway, going to wake up at 8 am so I can do my calc 2 homework before 11 AM, when it is due and go to class. Then I plan on coming home and finishing my next physics assignment which is due tomorrow night at midnight in around 2-3 hours hopefully or I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and take the bad grade. I’ve never taken physics before, and I’m behind because I added the class late. I think I just need to select set times that I dedicate to studying and only studying. Like 3 hours a night. & even if I don’t have homework just go ahead and read ahead or start on some other thing sooner. 

This is literally killing me, I don’t do well on lack of sleep and I just seem to never be able to catch up with it all. UGH.

Saturday’s I have to look forward to because I don’t do homework since I double.:/ what a thing to look forward to.

Any words of advice or anything that helped some other people learn physics? I just need to pass this class as it’s the only physics class that I’m required to take. UGH AND I HATE IT ALREADY!!!